being an alocholic

This is my confession post.

I AM A ALCOHOLIC

For some time now I've known this and have avoided it (the truth that is). The fuzzy memory's, hangovers, regrettable decisions, sometimes hilarious mistakes (but mistakes nonetheless), stomach aches, headache's, body numbness, kidney weakening, brain dumbing drinking has to stop! For quite some time now I've been telling myself that it's not that bad and as long as I'm not doing anything illegal it's OK. I like the feeling of being "nice". So hey, why not?!? Last night I drank way to much and for no reason whatsoever. And it has become a everyday thing. For some people it's a weekend thing but, for me a 40 or two a day is normal. Sad, but normal. I've decided that I want to remember these days of my life. College will be the experience that I pass down to my children. I am one of the very few members of my family that have even been in college, let alone facing a pending graduation as closely as I am. And most of these days have been blurred by my drug and alcohol usage. I love myself and my body and I'm SOoO not treating it that way. God help me stay sober. I feel like Neffie, Keysha Cole's sister. How sad. There has been some recent events that has brought about this epiphany. But none like last night. I had a great night (at least what I remember was great) but, I have no idea what I did after the black out occurred. I have no idea how I ended up asleep where I did. And I hate missing my life.

Now just so no one gets mad when they see me with a drink. I will tell you my plan for quitting.

1. Cut the drinking days down from seven to 2-3 days. Either Thursday- Saturday. Friday and Saturday.Or Friday -Sunday. Weekends only.
2. No more hard liquor and beer (malt liquor).
3. Drink in moderation on the days that alcohol is present.
4. Eventually take the 2-3 days down to 1 and then eventually none.

Sad that before I turn 21 I am so distraught and messed up that I have to take these actions. But it's a reality I now have to deal with. Please support this. That plea goes especially to those of you who still won't let me live for quiting smoking Cali.

Thank You

God
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the tings I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
Living one day at a time
Enjoying one moment at a time
Taking this world as it is and not as I would have it
Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with You forever in the next
Amen.