So I'm surfing bloggs and get to Maddie's page. She has this post about the truth being Christianity and Jesus Christ. Honestly, I am writing this blog in tears (or at least I was crying and I'm holding them back now). My heart repeatedly sank while watching the clips that she posted. I don't want to admit that now I am questioning my faith but I would be lying to myself if I said otherwise. Like I said in a comment to the post, I have heard people tryin to denounce God and Christianity before but never have I ever been hit so hard. Maybe because since I have been here at Temple I have been finding my relationship with God to be more and more true and comfortable to handle (A loving friendship with God is everything but easy). I love Jesus and believed hole hearted that he was my savior and to now see this after 19 years of believing I am truly baffled and hurt. All I keep thinking about is how God granted us intellect, common sense, and a coincidence. And all of those things are telling me that I need to rethink this whole Believing in a higher power thing. Not saying that i may come to the conclusion that God and Jesus do not exist. But I do, now, need to do some serious soul searching. I'm always looking up in the middle of the day and thanking God for a plethora of things. Was I just talking to the clouds? When Eve gave that apple to Adam and God was mad because now they would see evil. Was that evil just really the truth that they were insane talking to some unknown figure they created in their minds? Were they Skitzo's? Are miracles just coincidence's? MY GOD! I cant do this. I mean please just watch it. Christian or not. I would really like to know what you think.
God, if you are there show your self to me and stop playing with my emotions!
(just click the title of This blog post and it'll take you directly to it)
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